Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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