Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
