i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
