It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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