Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Even my vagina gasped.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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