i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
