y did u give ur computer a hand job?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
