took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I want to be your penis for a week.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
