Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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