i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
