Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
