Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
