Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
