Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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