so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
