Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
