you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
