a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
