why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
