Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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