you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
