No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
