Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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