dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
