He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
i've created a new STD.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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