so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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