How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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