can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
