my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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