I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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