just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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