ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Randomize
