Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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