He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
