I need help removing her.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
