love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
