YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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