I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
