Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
