i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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