god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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