You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
