Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
