So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
