My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
