well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
her facebook's as public as her vagina
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
