I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
