yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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