I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
