I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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