You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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