I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
