imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
