i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
