Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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